Rima Can't Spell The Lost Epilogue
by Tsuki no kimi
Summary: A weird little extremely short kind of epilogue for Rima Can't Spell I found in my documents. Nagihiko and Ikuto are taking their respective girlfriends to prom, but have to deal with something - or someone - first. Total crack.


**A/N: Okay, I was sifting through my documents the other day, and this is what I found in the Rima Can't Spell folder! I was kinda like "WOT IS THIS o.O" at first, but then I remembered that it was back from my utter n00b days... I wrote it around chapter seven, I believe, and it was a kind of tentative epilogue to the series. I guess it's a kind of ending to the story for those of you that weren't satisfied with the cuddlebunny fluff at the end of 52. And I'm uploading as a seperate story, because it can be read and understood a little as a seperate kind of oneshot. **

**Actually, I take that back. Unless you read Rima Can't Spell, none of this is going to make sense past the Tsumugu flashback. Please excuse the many horrid things wrong with this. It was written a long time ago. **

**Anyway, SURPRISE! to those of you who had no idea I even HAD this DDD Damnnn, I love messing with your head. **

Epilogue

The crickets chirped on the innocent-looking suburban Japanese neighborhood. Everything was quiet, except for the faint noise of a siren three streets over. If you looked at the scene from above, you'd think it was peaceful. A nice and normal Friday night.

Maybe it was... for most people. For most girls, this was the day they counted down to on their frightening little calendars, like in the corny TV shows.

But, anyway, let's focus more on the peaceful night sky. We don't have to think about that yet. The gibbous moon shone brightly, and the unclouded sky showed all the stars, brighter than usual. The siren stopped, but another noise went on. Two shadowy figures walked in companionable silence, one slightly taller than the other. You might think one was a girl from the hair, but the broad shoulders gave them away.

The cell phone's ring tone shrilled through the night silence, and Nagihiko shot Ikuto an accusing look.

"Amu's going to kill you because you took that thing at all."

"What, this?" Ikuto held up his cell phone with distaste.

"The very same cellular device Amu always chastises you about."

"Oh, stop talking funny already, I can't understand you."

Nagihiko rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is Nagi using the big hard wordsies again?"

Ikuto ignored his snide comment. "How do you and Rima manage to communicate at all? Oh, wait..." a slow grin spread over his face. "Don't tell me you..."

"O-of course not!" said Nagihiko, hunching his shoulders up like a weasel that's been disturbed form its burrow and glaring at the taller boy. "I'm not like _you!_"

The cell phone rang again, and Ikuto finally turned it off.

"Oh, no. Poor Easter-CEO Tsukiyomi-san has actually turned off his phone! Quick, get the Advil."

"You have _no _idea how much work is required to clean up that dump and weed out all the evil people," Ikuto said sleekly. 'The dump' was how he referred to the Easter headquarters. "Or, I suppose you'd love to guess, being accepted into Tokyo U early, as you never let us forget since you got the letter three weeks ago. Big _whoop!_"

They bickered all the way down the street, until suddenly stopping right in front of a house.

"Maybe we can just wait outside," said Ikuto hopefully.

The reason Ikuto had developed soceraphobia (Nagihiko word – fear of in-laws and even parents in general) was due to a frightful incident that had happened about six months previous.

"_AAAAAAHHHHH!!!" screamed Tsumugu Hinamori, his eyes bugging out maniacally. "IT'S A BOY! HURRY, AMI-CHAN, GET THE MOP!" _

"_Onii-tan!" shouted Ami and, contrary to everyone's expectations, hugged the stranger. "Onee-chan is upstairs, if you want her!" _

"_Yeah. That'd be nice," said the tall blue-haired man, sticking his hands in his pockets and quickly putting on a look that made him look at ease. _

_Midori smiled a bit perversely. "Oh? You want her? That's sweet," _

_Both closet perverts shared a small, knowing grin before Mr. Hinamori came back in, waving a mop in one hand and a bug-zapper in the other. _

"_MEEEEHHHH!!!" shouted Amu's dad, waving the bug-zapper. "Ouuuuttt!!!" _

Poing.

"_Onii-tan has cat ears!" shouted Ami in exultation, peeping through the railing bars on the stairs. "Sugoi-ne~!" _

_Ikuto and Yoru, unable to resist the flying object out of their reach that was making buzzing noise, character-changed and started batting frantically at the bug zapper that Tsumugu Hinamori was wielding like a javelin. _

"_I-Ikuto?" Midori asked, mildly amused. _

"_Nyah. Must get flying object...!" Ikuto murmured under his breath. _

"_EVIL BOY, MESSING WITH DADDY'S LITTLE SPARROWS!" Tsumugu shrieked in a voice reminiscent of Tadase. _

"_DAD!" someone shouted from the stairs, and Daddy's little sparrow herself came stumbling down the stairs at the noise like a bloody war coming from downstairs. "OFF!" she ran crazily down and slapped Ikuto smartly across the face._

"_Rule number one!" she shouted over the din. "NEVER mess with my father."_

"_That's the way, Amu-chan! Help chase the boy out!" said Tsumugu happily, who had not heard Amu's comment._

_Amu shot him a what-are-you-talking-about-you-loony-potato look. "What? This is my boyfriend. We're going out. Bye."_

"_BOYYYYFRRIIIIIEND?" _

_The door slammed shut, and outside they could hear the faint noises of giggling and a small shriek. A few seconds later, they heard the sure sound of purse-hitting-cat and running. _

"_Bye, Ikuto-kun!" Midori and Ami shouted, waving. _

"_You were IN on this?!" said Tsumugu tearfully. "Well... one little sparrow may have left the nest but we still have... Ami?" _

"_Hey, mom!" Ami shouted. "Don't expect me back until around two in the morning." She rolled up her skirt nonchalantly and pulled on fishnet tights. "And I'll say hi to Dai-chan and Haa-chii for you!" _

_The last sound Ikuto, Amu, Ami and all her fanboys heard was a piercing wail. _

"_?!?!?!?!?!?!" _

Ikuto shuddered at the memory. "I bet the Mashiros are worse."

"They're not so bad," said Nagihiko comfortingly. "Well... her mom's alright."

Nagihiko, with his clean-cut-innocent-look and his knack for charming adults had made his meeting with Rima's mother not as eventful.

Ikuto gave Nagihiko a funny look, immediately noticing that he didn't mention Rima's father. He would, having none himself.

"And about the father?" Nagihiko enquired, using his talent to read minds. "... We'll see."

Ikuto, who was staying far behind, muttered something dark as Nagihiko strolled up and rung the doorbell.

Rima's mother opened, but behind her was...

"Oh," said Nagihiko, smiling but seething with a cold aura at the man behind her. "Hello."

Ikuto, thinking the worst was done with, slunk into view like a cat that's been kicked.

"Oh, hello, Nagihiko-kun," said Rima's mother, shooting a frightened look at her ex-husband.

"Is Rima upstairs?" Nagihiko asked politely, using some of his self control not to let Ikuto loose on Rima's father.

"I don't like to be rude, but who the hell are you?" said Rima's father, glaring. Ikuto started to back away, but Nagihiko stepped on his foot to hold him there using all the strength he had from dancing.

"Although it's really none of your business, my name is Fujisaki Nagihiko," said Nagihiko, giving Mr. Mashiro his most unpleasant leer that he usually reserved for playing Chemistry Carl on some unsuspecting freshman.

"I'm Tsukiyomi Ikuto," Ikuto added behind him.

Rima's father looked at Ikuto. "I know you," he said suddenly. "You're that new kid that took over Easter."

"the very same." _Crap! _Thought Ikuto. _Now I'm talking like the Evil Mad Genius – err, Nagihiko. _

"Oh, of course you'd know what's happening in the _business _world," muttered Mrs. Mashiro sarcastically. "But rather, not in your daughter's own _life." _

Nagihiko gave an awkward smile. "Are they ready yet, or...?"

"Yep!" said Amu, who was dragging Rima behind her. "Come on, Rima-chan. It won't kill you!"

"Yes, it will." Rima said dully. "It will kill me to be overrun by Nagihiko fangirls."

Amu shuddered at her own Fangirl memories. "Well, at least you're not going to get a chorus of 'cool ad spicy!' when you trip over something."

Ikuto snorted. Rima ran and clung to Nagihiko's arm like a small child and started dragging him outside in the opposite direction of the school.

"Rima, if you don't go, you can't graduate," said Nagihiko, distressed.

"Good! I don't want to," said Rima. "I'll move to Alaska or something to escape the truant officers."

About a year ago, Mashiro Rima wouldn't have even known what a truant officer _was. _It seemed Nagihiko's giant vocabulary was rubbing off on her.

"I'm sorry," said Rima's father, who didn't sound very sorry at all. "where do you think you're going?"

About a year ago, Mashiro Rima would've ducked back up the stairs and hid. Instead, she turned around, usually-innocent eyes flashing. Ikuto's eyebrows shot up as she said in her tiny little voice:

"None of your damn business."

Her father choked. "Sorry?"

"No need to apologize," said Nagihiko and Rima at the same time. Immediately, they both glared at each other.

"Hang on," said Ikuto slowly. "This is the guy that shipped Mashiro off to Finland or whatever. Right?"

"It was France," Nagihiko meekly reminded him.

Ikuto glared. "Does he have ANY idea how much damn money it cost for us to lug her back? Nasty." He grinned, showing his pointed teeth.

Nagihiko grinned nastily too. "An awful lot of trouble."

"Well," they both said, "How's he going to make it up to us?"

"Th-they're like the Hitachiin twins," said Amu in awe (she was a closet fan of reverse harem manga). "Thick as thieves."

"How about his American Express?" said Nagihiko mildly.

"You take that one," said Ikuto offhandedly. "I call dibs on his Visa."

"Now, wait a minute here!" Rima's dad began, and all they did in reply was pull out his entire wallet.

"That should compensate," said Ikuto emotionlessly. "Well, see you later, Mr. Mashiro."

And they dragged Amu and Rima out the door.


End file.
